Your Own World

We are always in our own world.

We meet when we share our own world - our perspectives and perceptions, joys and concerns.  Whatever our world may be is only available to others if we choose to share.

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Continuing Influence

 Hello Tyler. Say hello Tom. Hi Tyler. Hello Tom.

I'm happy about our final conversation.  It was a difficult one to have and I was pleased to practice with you in setting boundaries, sharing feelings and past hurts.  You shared confusing behaviors as a small boy, how in this week of August at some point you married your first wife and another point your mother died and now at this point the mental health condition of the woman who you provided room and board for the past year and a half worsened.  You began to weep - something you are known to never do.

When I shared my boundary, Tom posed the consideration for why do I feel so indignant when he says time does not exist.  I shared how the notion is profoundly ignorant.  Without boundaries there would be no space, any motion of boundaries inherently possesses time.  When Tom made his comments that "time does not exist" he did so when a person who was engaged in a conversation with him said they "didn't have the time for . . ."  I suggested some alternative statements, at least in my presence.  Again he encouraged me to consider why I felt so indignant and again I shared about inherent existences.  He did not wish to pursue the metaphysical rabbit hole where he would feel trapped.

I then asked Tom what is existence? after he again for the third time encouraged me to consider why I felt so indignant when he says time does not exist.  Tom did not have a response for existence other than he did not know what is existence.  I said I haven't given much thought also into what is existence but I have discovered a part of existence, "We do not need proof of God's existence - existence is proof."

We sat quietly for a while thereafter.  He gets a text from a mutual friend and goes to the bathroom and I to the balcony for a smoke.  On our reunion after our intermission Tom shares how he would not like me sharing his personal business as they do not know all the circumstances.  I shared how I was feeling vulnerable.  We shared our appreciation for one another for being able to share what we are feeling and why.

After another moment of silence we discover the mentally distressed woman will arrive to "pack up."  I remind Tom that I cannot stay at his apartment all day and he has a choice to let her in or not and that someone else who is likely more sane will arrive with a truck to load up her stuff.  He chose to allow her entry.  He seemed compelled to help the forlorn woman although his help was hapless to his health.

I go about my day and in the evening at twenty after twenty-two returned Tom's voicemail requesting boxes.  He was likely dead by then as the last time he called me was twenty of seventeen.  I did not find out about Tom's death until Sunday afternoon from the dear Melanie E.

That was my last day with Tom but not the last of his influence.

Written Friday of Venusweek about the morning of Thursday of Tuesweek of Late Summer 2020.  Published Venusday of the Sunweek of Early Autumn 2020.

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Execute

 Hello Tyler good evening.  How was your day 19 August 2020?

I had an interesting day being there for my friend Tom.  He could no longer care for his flat mate.  He was heartbroken.

I was feeling heartbroken earlier in the day in response to my last therapy appointment with my therapist.  The feeling occured as I was having breakfast.  I paused to take the time to feel the heartbreak.  Soon the feeling quelled and I continued on with my breakfast in serenity.

After his flatmate left, Tom acknowledged he was feeling sad and that he will take this moment to feel his sadness.  While feeling sad Tom thanked me for my friendship.  Tom was very brave and courageous to share his feeling of sadness.  I am currently practicing doing the same with my feelings - to recognize, accept and share.

I did a lot for Tom this day.  I made myself present.  I gave him a ride.  I began to straighten up the mess of his flatmate.  His flatmate returned and I informed her she needed to take responsibility for herself and her emotions.  She was semi-coherent in her deluge of mental illness.  After watching her for half an hour as she rummaged about her room I checked with Tom and it was time for her to quit rummaging and take whatever she needed for the streets.  In the past few weeks numerous people were informed of this eventual situation of hers and no one, except for a woman's shelter offered a place for her.  So I informed her to gather whatever she needed for the streets.  I carried out an eviction for Tom.  I changed the lock on his door.  I validated and did not judge him for his emotion of sadness.  We've done much for one another over the course of our friendship.

Accept Dinner Invitations

 Had I declined dinner my friend believes he may have died.

 I arrived at ten minutes after seven post meridiem at my friend's penthouse apartment on the highest point of town with groceries for him and dinner after completing the trifecta.  Upon entering the apartment I find my friend sitting in the chair to the left of the doorway.  He shared how his heart felt not good and was behaving strangely.  I place my hand on his shoulder.  He continues to share how he's practicing a form of meditation to improve his condition.  

His unsigned flat mate has some mental health condition and her condition appears to be getting worse.  She had been involuntarily committed to a facility three times in the past year or less.  When I arrived the apartment was a mess.  A mix of her stuff and his was in the foyer.  Her stuff was overflowing out of her room into the foyer then into the kitchen and bathroom.  She was talking to someone who wasn't there and when she peeked around the door she took an extra long moment to recognize me.  Soon she gathered some items then left.

Eventually his heart began to regain composure.  I began the process of straightening up the apartment.  He apologized for being unable to assist with the clean-up.  As I'm cleaning up he comes to the conclusion that had I not arrived his heart condition would likely have worsened.  The night prior was beginning similarly to this evening but escalated to the point where my friend called the police for their safety.  The police could or would not help nor will the hospital accept his petition. 

It took about two hours to clean up enough of the mess to have dinner ten minutes before ten post meridiem.

The above was written on the Wednesday of Tuesweek of late summer 2020 and published on the Moonday of Sunweek of early Autumn of the same year.

Feeling Urgey

 

What is this urgeyness?  

It's a discontentment.  A wanting desire for some vice.  A frustration.

  

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Chakra Yoga

Use the chakras as a framework for a yoga sequence.

I discovered answers at this site to which I have no current affiliation.

https://www.chakras.info/yoga-root-chakra/

Have a browse for yourself and combine whatever poses suit you.

For me my first sequence was

Root: Standing forward bend and wide legged standing forward bend

Sacral: Chair and pigeon

Solar: Sitting Twist and Warrior

Heart: Cobra and camel

Throat: Bridge and shoulder stand

Third-eye: Down dog

Crown: Any meditative resting position

This first sequence didn't flow so well but it's a start!

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