Stache

This past summer, on June 1st, our dude accomplished a bucket list goal.  He was desired by a beach patrol after their fitness assessment and interview.  

The previous year, on June 3rd, though desired after the interview, our dude was not physically fit for the job.  An opportunity to redeem his fitness assessment was presented the following day to those desired but still need to prove their fitness.  The assessment is simply to swim five hundred meters (500 m) within ten minutes (10 min).  He watched the other desirables fail their assessment.  In his attempt, he quit after one hundred meters (100 m), exhausted and out of breath, incapable of maintaining a fifty meter per minute ( 50 m/min) pace.

Luckily for him, a proctor of the assessment was also a swim instructor.  Beyond acknowledging the fact our dude had much to develop, he provided primer instruction.  “Take a kickboard, hold it out, practice keeping your head in the water as you take strokes, work up from one stroke per breath.” 

Our dude had a lot of progress to make if he were to ever become an ocean lifeguard.  Initially, he was twenty percent (20%) of the way there.  So, on June 6th, 2023 our dude began his self-imposed training.  By early December, he was close to his goal.  Being so close, he found a beach to provide a fitness assessment.  His time was ten minutes forty-five seconds (10:45 min:sec), ninety-three percent (93%) of the way.

Then, in late January 2024, our dude successfully passed the fitness assessment!  He swam the distance in nine minutes six seconds (09:06 min:sec) with a negative-split.  The interview with the safest beaches in Florida was a disappointment compared to the one with America’s Greatest Family Resort so, desirability did not arise.

Summer would come again for New Jersey and our dude maintained his fitness throughout the winter and spring.  Part of his draw to this particular beach in New Jersey was due to an offer his grandfather had long and often offered.  “Room and some board for one-hundred dollars ($100) if you have a full-time job; if you do not have a full-time job, room and some board is one-thousand dollars ($1,000).”

Our dude’s foot was in the door for a full-time job.  Training and rookie school would take place over the next few weekends.

From those who tried-out that day this June, our dude earned another moniker:

“Stache.”